Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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