she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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