This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize