I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How does one acquire holy water?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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