chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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