Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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