You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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