I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize