Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
that's an acceptable place to lick
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Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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