I love black thongs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
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only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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