member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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