I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have aggressive nipples.
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