If that was your dad, he is hot
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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