hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize