Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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