I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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