Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize