I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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