well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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She just used a chaser for red wine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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