I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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