Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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