Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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