My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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