am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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