so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We are two peas in an std pod
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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