..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize