My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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