my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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