Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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