a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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