is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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