I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize