She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I die, sorry about rent.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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