It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize