So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize