I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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