I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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