Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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