Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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