Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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