i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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