Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize