So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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