Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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