They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize