it wasn't lemon gatorade
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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