we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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