Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I could fuck to npr.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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