I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize