My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize